The Art of Writing a DRoP Fic
by Eminempern
Summary: Marjory struggles to make her way in the AMC section. Marjory: LYK OMG PEOPLES PLZ R&R! Chapter 5 is up but it's not the greatest.
1. Chapter 1: Chapter One

_**Disclaimer: Eminempern hereby officially owns squat about Pern. She owns her characters and their situations, but not the places they take place in.**_

**ANs: I've always wanted to dedicate a story to someone, and so I hereby dedicate this to my little sister. Not because it particularly relates to her, just that I felt like it. Hi, sis!**

**(See bottom for extensive Author's Notes)**

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Marjory (she'd never liked her name – it made her feel like that butter stuff, margarine or whatever) frowned, chewing on her nails. She swept her snarly brown hair out of her face, glaring at the computer screen. She had just got her very own account on and wanted to post a story right away. She moved her gnawing away from her fingernails, and started on her lip. What to write… What to _write_?

She was sure she wanted it to be a Dragonriders of Pern fic. She'd absolutely loved the books. She went over her options in her head, waiting desperately for a lovely plot idea to strike her like that lightning bolt had struck her tree house. Hm…

_Ah-ha! _INSPIRATION! She knew what to write! _Wow wow wow, I can't wait! _She began frantically tapping away on the keyboard, overjoyed at how she'd managed to find and use a plotbunny. Ah, she couldn't contain her excitement!

She finished quickly, and skimmed over it with her eyes, barely reading. Oh, she just wanted to get it up! Her mouse paused over the _spell-check _button, but she decided that she didn't have enough patience. She logged into her account so fast that she messed up three times before looking at the account settings page. She clicked on _stories_.

_New story. _-Click-.

_You must agree to our guidelines… _What? No fair! Marjory ran over them briefly, and of course she absorbed every word. Or, she would've, if only her darned mouse would stop scrolling so fast…

_Yes, I agree… _Right! She hit that button with a vengeance, and then hastily clicked back over on _new story_. Oh, this was too much fun!

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The fingers of Pamela's left hand combed through her thick blond hair while her right clicked around Ah, a new story in the McCaffrey section! She clicked on it the category eagerly, awaiting a treat. Then, she saw the title of the new story:

**Dragons**.

How original. And the summary merely read: _R&R_. Intrigued, Pamela opened the story, and began to read. Her eyes widened in horror as it went along…

_Marjory's Story…_

**Disclaimer: Wow I hate disclaimers but ya i dont own this the ddragons are anne Mccaffreys.**

**ANs: Yeah like i just ttly hd this like grate idea whare this girl goes and gets a dragon but lyke i dont want 2 give it away so just read.**

Karalira sat under the tree she was thinking about dragons again. they were big and amazing and she wanted more than anything to impress one. She wanted a quen most of all but if she could get any color she would be happy. Her hole family had been dragon riders and she hoped she could be too maybe she could even be a Wyerwoman. Just then a big golden dragon came out of between it landed right in front of Karalira. The dragon turned its big gold head to the girl and it said to her _Hello I am Uvurth I am here to Search you._ Karalira was very happy and she ran to the dragons side as its rider dismunted. "Wow I am searched!" she said happily "i cant believe it this is the best day of my life can we leave now."

"Yes we must hurry or we will miss hte hatching" the Weyrwoman said "get on Uvurth so we can leave". "yay!' cried Karalira she had always wanted to stand as a candidate for the dragons. she got on uvurths neck and held onto the riders belt. The rider was Weyrwoman Ilina and she said "hold on were going between it will be very cold but dont worry it only lasts four breathes." "Ok" Karalira said she held her breath though in between so she didnt know if ilina was rite or not.They came out over the Weyr and ilina said "we have to go to the hatching sands now but we can get you're white robe their you have no time to change into it here. you can put it over your clothes your wearing right now."

So they got there and Karalira put on her robe it was white and stiff but it fit her right then she walked over to the eggs and saw the big gold one it was starting to hatch but not yet. she said to the other candiate "hi Im Karalira i want to impress the queen, who r u?" "my name is Marayjaa I want the queen 2, but i hope we can both get dragons" the other girl said. Just then the queen egg started hatching, and out came th e impossinble!

TOW draons came out they were both gold and very pretty everyone gasped their couldnt be 2 dragons in one egg. "Wow" Karalira said she walked over to the dragons and Marayjaa followed her. Then Karalira felt the dragon impress her and she smiled she was happy she finaly got her queen. _hi Im Frendaormanith the queen told karalira your my rider now and I love you I feel very happy and you should to._ karalira grinned at her queen and said _yes Im happy but Marayjaa hasnt impressed yet i hope she gets the other queen whats the deal with you both being in the same egg anyway? _frendaormanith shrugged and said_ I dont know but i hope your friend gets my sister._

Then Marayjaa impressed the other queen. "she says her name is Yibermortith wow this is exciting i finally got a dragon!" she said to karalira. "i no isnt it great.' Karalira said. she beamed happily this was the best day of her life.

**ANs: Lyk OMG was that realy good well plz review and tell me but no flames please cuz they make me said inside. oh well i hope you haev a good day.**

_End Marjory's Story_.

Pamela's finger slammed on the mouse when she'd got the arrow over the _review_ thing. Oh, this poor little fantwit wouldn't know what'd hit her/him…

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**(REAL Author's Notes: I mean nobody any offense by posting this story. I don't want to make fun of any authors' imperfect grammar, etc. This was just an idea that came to me; I mean to mock NO ONE. Please review. And if you want to review **DRAGONS**, then by all means, flame the heck out of Marjory, as Pamela is about to. Or you could tell Marjory that you loved it, if you really want to...)**


	2. Chapter 2: The First Reviews

**Disclaimer: Fortunately for Anne, she owns Pern. Also fortunately for Anne, she doesn't own this particular story, or (Lucky woman!) Marjory's story.**

**ANs: This story was far more popular than I thought it would be among my friends. So, I had to update. Short, I know. But hey, it's all Marjory's fault!**

**_Things to look forward to in this chapter: _GASP! Marjory gets her first reviews! GASP AGAIN! The (-sob-) final chapter in Dragons, the short story by flarismyman!**

**Plz... Please review! **

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Flarismyman (aka, Marjory), logged into her email account. She was vibrating with excitement. What? (-Gasp!-) There were three reviews!

The first one read:

_Aargh! Stop writing!_

Marjory frowned. Oh, no…! How tragic that the reviewer had made a typo! Well, or ffdotnet had messed up! Either way, the _don't _in _don't stop writing_ had been left out! Really, what a tragedy!

On to review #2!

_I won't play with words – this story was awful._

What a great start.

_Grammar has apparently flown the coop. You can't write plot or characters to save your life. There was no pause at all – everything just _happened_. You need serious help._

_Recap: **GRAMMAR**, slow down._

_Sincerely,_

_TheVoiceofReason_

This one was slightly more difficult to blow off. Marjory decided to move on to the next review.

_OK, I'm sure you've already been flamed._

Flame? What were they talking about? Of course everyone had loved her story! That VoiceofReason just didn't know what he/she was talking about. Marjory sniffed, miffed.

_But I think that everyone has a bit of potential, buried deep inside of their souls._

Wow, this person was a real philosopher.

_So, do us all a favor, and get a beta._

_I know you are, but what am I?_

Marjory glared at the screen, highly affronted. Little smarty-pants. She developed an immediate grudge against I Know You Are, But What Am I? She clicked on the review reply URL.

_if u tink u no sooo mutch, y dont u btea 4 me, then._

Satisfied that she had managed to retort satisfactorily, Marjory logged out.

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Pamela sighed as she pressed _submit review. _She wished she could've been harsher, but once she started actually _writing _the review, her words were always softened. So all she'd ended up doing was telling the poor flarismyman that she needed a beta.

A little while later, Pamela checked her email again. She blinked. A review reply from flarismyman! What reply had the little twit come up with?

_if u tink u no sooo mutch, y dont u btea 4 me, then._

Was that a challenge? Pamela grinned, an almost evil smile, and clicked on the user's URL.

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Marjory hadn't expected TheVoiceofReason to actually reply that quickly! Well, it didn't matter, anyway. She had the next chapter all written up already…

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**Dsclmr eh im so sic off these**

**Athors nots; ya lyk thnx 4 rading this is the last chappie (wah boohoo I no) plllllllllllllllllzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz r nd r cuz then ill be hjappy 4eva**

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Karalira fed Frendaormanith mor meet the dragonte was very hungry. said frendaormanith as he ate more feed. Karalira beemed she was so happy that she got frendaormanith life was great. Then marayjaa came over she had yibermortith with her 'hi how is Frendaormanith she is so pretty her gold is so beautiful. Shes the bigest quen Ive ever seen in the hole pern!" sad Marayjaa she was jaelous that frendaormanithwas pretter than yibernortith. "dont worry yibermortith is prey 2," karalira said to marayjaa. then a nother candate came over he had a broze dargon with him. 'hi this is Tleeboleth he is bronse and i am his rider.' said h'blanal marayjaa blushed since he was sohott. But karalira just said "hi im Karalira this is frendaormanith."

H'blanal thote that karalira was very hott too he fel in luv wit her.

_WOOT skpip a head a lot uv time_

Frendaormanith flew hier she was so strong she laffed becuz the bronses were trying to cach her below karalira was surronded by bronzriders all the dragons wanted to mat with her quen. She new none of hem cud cach her frendaormanith but they could trie. Then karalira nd frendaormanith was surpised becase some1 had got them they were faling and then frendaormanith relized it waz tleeboleth and karalira knew that h'blanal wax her wyermat she was so happy then thei new ti was over.

They lifed hapily evr aftr teh edn.

**Thnx 4 readin agin I lurve my reviwrs!

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**

Around the world, many foreheads were slapped in exasperation. Didn't flarismyman _get_ it? Apparently not. Pamela's mind was made up. She was going to beta for that girl if it was the last thing she ever did.

And it was extremely likely that it would be.

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**LYK THNX 4 READING - ahem, I mean, thanks for reading, Marjory and I would love it if you'd review at least one of our stories!**


	3. Chapter 3: R rated word: BETA

_**Disclaimer: Anne owns everything good. I own the rest.**_

**A/Ns: Sorry it took so long. This chapter has no bad spelling/grammar (not intentionally, anyway). So, sorry that I can't explode any more brains with bad grammar. But Marjory's newest story has more R-rated content: Clichés and Mary-sues. Brace yourselves, and turn away now if you value your life.**

**Pamela (a.k.a I Know You Are But What Am I) will here on out be referred to either as Pamela or IKYA, which is short for the first part of her penname. Did anyone else notice that Pamela's penname changed last chapter between TheVoiceofReason and IKYA? Well, it was supposed to be the IKYA one.**

**So please review. It helps all of us as writers. Who knows? If you review Marjory's newest story, maybe it'll help her writing, too.**

**Well, maybe not, but hey.**

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Angry words were exchanged. 

Shouting words.

Nasty words that can't be printed.

Arguing.

Yelling.

Debating.

Accusing.

Protesting.

Pleading.

Then there was the head-banging.

The dented computers.

But finally, Pamela managed to turn flarismyman's newest story ("TheMost Beautiful ofThem All")into something vaguely resembling… well, a story. It was still not something she would purposely read, but at least it had grammar, among other new amazing qualities. Like pacing. More or less. Anyway, it read as follows:

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A/Ns: I know you all loved my stories _before_, but I've got a beta now, so they're not as _pure_. Anyway, I hope you like it, and R & R or I'll kill you all! Mwahahaha! (-Chainsaw sound-) **

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Sayalaidarsha scrubs the pot harder. However, Sayalaidarsha is a very long name, so the author will refer to her from here on out as Alai (the least consequential part of her name). Oh, how she hates washing the dishes!

She tosses her head back, throwing her silvery hair out of her thin, pale face. Her blue eyes sparkle, even though she isn't supposed to be happy now. She is just one of those people whose eyes sparkle all the time.

Because she is, of course, devastatingly beautiful. Her hair is, as has been mentioned, but must now be described in more detail, silvery and long. It is thin and straight, cascading down her back like a waterfall of silvery-blond. _Cascading_, I tell you, _cascading_.

And her skin isn't _just_ pale – it is porcelain, milk-colored (not curdled milk, _fresh _milk – uh, do they have cows on Pern?), despite the fact that those things probably aren't known of on Pern during the time this story is written in (the author can't be bothered with specifying exactly _when _this is). Anyway, back to her pale skin. It is smooth, uninterrupted, pale, lovely. Don't you just want her skin?

And Alai's eyes are just as enchanting as the rest of her. They aren't _just_ blue (the author is running out of dramatic phrasing and must recycle) – they are a deep, dark blue, the kind of blue that you only see nowhere, since nothing can compare to Alai's beauty. Her eyes could hold you spellbound, and many men are constantly testing this theory.

Her body is, of course, as perfect as anyone could ever imagine. It is as thin as a twig off an emaciated tree, though that description does not do justice to how good she looks. She is so slim and tiny, and yet she is of course wondrously strong, but you'll find out about that later (if the author forgets to mention it again, so what?)

Now, back to the dishes. Ah, yes, such tragedy had brought her here to Ruatha Hold to work as a drudge! Despite the fact that people do not randomly have flashbacks while washing dishes, we will now take a trip down memory lane…

"_Mother!" Alai screamed. She clutched wildly at her gorgeous hair, tears streaming down her face. And yet her pale skin's beauty could not be marred._

"_And Father! Oh, no!" Alai fell to her thin, strong knees, sobbing dramatically. Her poor family was dead! Every single one, brutally murdered. Alai's fresh wails filled the air around her, though of course they were sweet wails._

_So she had staggered away from their little holding up in the mountains to Ruatho _(or however you're supposed to spell it, the author doesn't particularly care) _Hold. They hadn't been very kind to her at first, but when she lifted her _sparkling _eyes to those of the Lord Holder, he had relented and let her stay on as a drudge. Ever since then, her life had been tragic and full of work that her delicate body was not meant to do. But, of course, since she is so perfect, she did it anyway, and is still beautiful._

So, Alai's tragic past having been filled out, the author decides that it's time for a dragon to come, since fleshing out the girl's character more is too much of a chore.

A dragon winks out of _between_, hide flashing gorgeously in the sun. Alai is frightened at first, and runs squealing into the kitchen.

Oh, wait. That's not very admirable. So, rewind.

Alai steps out into the sunlight, squinting her sapphire eyes against the glare off the dragon's hide – bronze, of course. She then calls out to the rider. Her voice is smooth, clear, rich, beautiful, like bells, like… really smooth, clear, rich, beautiful things.

"Hello, bronzerider, bronze dragon," she lilts. "Welcome to Ruatha Hold. What brings you here?"

_Greetings, little one, _a voice suddenly sounds in her head. Alai jumps slightly, but then shrugs it off. It would figure that, in her perfection, she would also be HAD, hear all dragons. She is actually even HAFL, hear all firelizards, and HAWW, hear all watch-whers, but those parts aren't in the story right now.

"We come on Search!" calls the dragon's hott rider. He is so hot, in fact, that all the other girls in the courtyard begin to swoon. But Alai stands unaffected, though he is enchanted by her beauty. Anyway, back to his hottness – of course he's hot, all bronzeriders are hott by definition.

"But we don't need to linger any more," continues the bronzerider. "I think we've found our object." He jabs his finger at Alai. "Come to the Weyr with us, O Beautiful Girl. You must Impress a dragon. A queen, no less."

Alai gives a small, pretty gasp, laying a dramatic hand on her collarbones. "Me?" she whispers, hardly able to believe her good luck.

"By the way, I'm M'kyui," the bronzerider says. "Where's the lord of this Hold? What's this place called anyway?" Yes, the author _knows _it's Ruatha Hold, but who cares? Who would know about that out-of-the-way dump?

"I am here," booms the Lord Holder. Of course his voice is booming. If you've got a big, prestigious man, of _course _his voice will be booming. It's, like, in the _rule book_. The rule book of… um, big mens' voices… and…

"Why are you here, O Bronzerider?" booms the Lord Holder.

"I _was _here to Search, until I found this flower of beauty – this Alai," says M'kyui. Of _course_ he knows her name! Gosh, who wouldn't?

"You want _her_?" cried the Lord Holder with the Booming Voice™. He shrugged. "Then you may take her."

"Come to the Weyr with me," said M'kyui, reaching down to help Alai mount his dragon – uh, Somethingeth. Why not? Fine, his dragon… Hotteth. Yes, Hotteth.

Alai shyly took his hand, staring into his deep amber eyes. She blushed as he helped her swing up – she was surprisingly good for someone who had never ridden a dragon before.

M'kyui put his hands on her waist, blushing himself as he realized where they were. "Let's go, Hotteth!" he cried to the dragon, and they took off and went _between_.

--

**That's it, folks! R & R! Or else! (-Menacing chainsaw named Ralphie starts up again-)**

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Well, whether Pamela/IKYA really thought it was worthy, it was getting posted. She sighed, standing up. She was going to need to refresh her stock of aspirin. 


	4. Chapter 4: OMG IMPRESSION!

**A/Ns: It's me, back again! (Finally) Sorry about the shortness of this chapter. And the painfulness. WARNING: EYES MAY BLEED FROM BADLY-WRITTEN CONTENT. Can't sue me!**

**Many thanks to lovely beta KiaraAlexisKlay!**

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Pamela's head had taken on a permanent dull pounding ache. She sighed as she checked her email inbox to see another FF PM from flarismyman.

How long would it take before that… that… idiot (Pamela refrained from using a stronger word)… figured out that _her ideas for her story were appalling_? They truly were. And yet flarismyman stubbornly refused to change it.

Pamela wearily opened the latest message.

_i donnt kare. u cant mak mee. i wont cange it. Its goood how it iz now. NO. im goint 2 postt it now._

"Please?" Pamela begged her computer screen pointlessly. At least she had managed to correct the spelling/grammar without gagging from the terrible clichés found in the latest chapter. The least she could do was save the world from terrible typos – not that they were all typing errors – even if she couldn't spare the poor readers the agony of reading awful plot ideas, characters, and stereotypes…

Let's just say… Flarismyman never mentioned her beta by name in her A/Ns, and for this, Pamela was intensely grateful.

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Marjory was having a moral debate.

She had been… inspired… by several other stories on ffdotnet. Should she mention them in her author's notes? She certainly wasn't going to mention that IKYA. She'd never been so infuriated and annoyed by someone she'd never met in person. Really.

Marjory sighed and clicked over to her email account. She was still impatiently waiting for feedback on "The Most Beautiful of Them All." How hard could it be to press the stupid button and type? She'd never tried – maybe it _was _difficult. But she doubted it.

But even if they hadn't liked it – which she doubted – she had the next chapter _ready_, whatever that stupid IKYA thought. She hastened over to her ffdotnet account to post it.

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Karen yawned wide, her dull blue eyes crinkling. Her thin, lank reddish-brown hair was pulled back in its customary messy ponytail. She knew she shouldn't be on the computer at 3:30am. But she couldn't help it. What else was she supposed to do? _Sleep_? Yeah, right!

She finally tired of taking endless quizzes of _Which Hogwarts Boy Would You Date? _on Quizilla, and typed in the fanfiction dot net URL in the browser. The home page showed, and she tapped over to the AMC section. Another story? She smiled, rousing from her state of semi-coma. She hadn't checked out the section lately. The story was by flarismyman. Hadn't that person written another story… _Dragons_?

Karen blinked. She hadn't really read that one – her eyes had already been glazing over and she had passed out on the keyboard shortly after looking at the first line uncomprehendingly. When she had woken up, she'd realized she was late for school, and hadn't gotten to finish reading the story. But, oh well. Flarismyman had a new one.

The first chapter was mostly about this amazing, perfect girl. All Karen had to do was close her eyes for a moment to picture herself as Alai. From that moment on, the poor college girl was infatuated with the tale. Alai was everything she wasn't, but if she stretched things a bit, she could be the perfect one.

Karen gave an exhausted half-squeal of delight when she saw that there was another chapter. She clicked on it so fast that her computer had to spin for a while before it was able to process her request.

She read:

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**Like, hi! I can't believe I'm back again! No one reviewed chapter 1 yet (wahhh!), but I'm posting again anyway! (-Audience loves me-) Anyway, please review or Ralphie will decapitate you all! MWAHAHAHAHA!**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Alai gasps a clear, small gasp as Hotteth takes off. A beautiful smile curves her full, red lips, and she leans back, her sparkling blue eyes widening slightly. She holds her breath when M'kyui says, "We're going _between _in a moment, Alai, O Flower of Beauty! It will be cold and awful, but it shalt not last more than three breaths!" even though no one actually talks like that, even on Pern.

"I can do it," Alai lilts in her thin, lilty voice.

_Let us go, Hotteth, my fine bronze! _M'kyui shouts to his dragon. The great beast flings himself into the abyss of cold blackness.

Alai blinks, though she is unfazed by the awful, bone-chilling nowhereness. She is impervious to any such evils. She barely flinches, though when they get out, M'kyui is trembling. She reaches back with a thin, dainty, reassuring hand. M'kyui immediately feels warmth flood his body at her touch. "Thank you, Alai – The Most Beautiful of Them All!" _(A/N: Isn't it cool how I got the title of the story in there!)_

They land, Hotteth's vast wingspan filling the Weyr and bathing it with shadow. (Yes, the author knows how big a Weyr is. Why should that matter?)

"The Hatching will be soon, Amazing Alai," says M'kyui, his terrifically handsome face wrinkling with worry that his sure-to-Impress candidate would miss the huge event.

Of course, candidates are always Searched bare moments before the Hatching. Why should the Weyr have foresight?

"Do not worry," says Alai calmly, her… uh, her pure, gentle voice ringing smoothly through the air and floating enticingly into M'kyui's perfect ear. He shivers slightly at her – her… her _her_ness.

"Here, we must get you a white Impression robe, for you will surely be getting the best of the best. There is a golden egg on the Sands, My Gorgeous Lady." M'kyui blushes slightly, but he feels confidence flood him as Alai flashes him a bright, white, sparkly smile.

She quickly changes, and then swings up onto Hotteth's great bronze neck. M'kyui slaps his dragon, urging the vast beast into the air.

Alai feels a small twinge of nerves zing through her guts, but she brushes it off. She has always been amazing at everything she does – she is an accomplished singer, healer, swordsman, and cook, and has been taught by her cousin to draw, which he praised her highly for. She can read and write, and has written many little songs and stories that her Harper tells all the time, though no one knows it is her who wrote them, and she is too modest to tell anyone.

Hotteth lands and lets his brilliant passenger off. Alai slides off, and smiles up at M'kyui, fluttering her dark, long, thick eyelashes, as that was her way of thanking people.

All the other candidates gasp as she walks past them, her eyes modestly lowered. Her beauty overwhelms all of them – how can one girl be so perfect? Everyone immediately wishes they could be her, except for one girl, Drulnunna. Drulnunna narrows her evil eyes, determined to make this gorgeous girl miserable. But she will put her plan to action later _(A/N: Ooh, _foreshadowing_! Snazzy, huh?)_.

Everyone begins to get nervous as the eggs rock hard, but Alai stands firmly. Her slender figure is looking better than ever in the thin white robe, which fits her perfectly. Of course, if she were dressed in a potato sack, she would look lovely. Are there potatoes on Pern?

Anyway, the eggs begin to hatch, and Alai can hear the hatchlings' voices in her head. She gives a floaty gasp, putting thin, pale fingers to her forehead in startled amazement.

Then, the golden egg hatches with a dramatic _thunk_ that makes all the girls shiver, except, of course, Alai, because shivering isn't graceful or beautiful.

The queen gets to her feet, her stunning gold color showing that she is a beautiful, and very big dragon. In fact, she will be bigger than Ramoth and basically every other dragon in existence, because, as you all know, if there's a main character with a dragon, that dragon has to be extra-special. Why should the author care if Ramoth is supposedly "the biggest dragon ever shelled"?

The queen immediately makes her way toward Alai, but before she gets there, Alai feels a head butt the backs of her knees. She stands strongly, but looks down to find a green wailing thinly next to her. The queen is now also next to her, and the two dragons begin to fight, squabbling over her, competing with each other, as they both want this amazing girl to be their own rider.

Finally, the golden queen locked eyes with Alai.

_Dear, dear, beautiful Alai, O beautiful, gorgeous one, your life will now be perfect, since I, Sledaifalefefth, am here._

_Oh, Sledaifalefefth! _Alai cried in a pure, beautiful voice, dropping to her knees gracefully. _We will be the most beautiful dragon and rider on Pern!_

And they would be.

**YyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYy**

**A/N: Well, of course they are! Now, REVIEW, or RalphieTheChainsaw will murder you all! REVIEW!**

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Karen was in shock. The story was wonderful! She was almost paralyzed, her eyelids drooping in her amazement.

Or maybe she was just passing out.

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**A/Ns: Please review! Ouch, this story _hurts_ to write (and it hurts my lovely beta to proofread it, too!) Didja like the "OoOoOoOo" touch? It annoys the heck out of me when people really do it.**


	5. Chapter 5: Chocolate Therapy

**Oh, my holy glaux. I'm so sorry, everyone! I'm such a bad updater! Will you forgive me? I've just been busy…**

**Well, my excuses are probably worthless wastes of your guys' valuable time. All I can say is, sorry again, and please review!**

**(PS: To all of y'all who say you have bloody eyes… Well, I'm sorry! Haha… Here, have a tissue. The bleeding should stop pretty soon.)**

**

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**Pamela wondered if her forehead was dented. It wasn't good for one's health to be banging one's head against a computer so much, she was sure. 

But then, it wasn't worth it to make all the poor people in the AMC section get high fevers, chills, and hives from their allergic reactions to Sues, was it?

Chapter three of "The Most Beautiful of Them All" was appalling. Not that chapters one and two hadn't been, just that this one was almost even worse. Almost. It was kind of hard to tell which one was worst. Pamela didn't want to submit herself to that kind of torture.

Chapter three had been only minimally edited by Pamela. Because of her strong objections to the content, Marjory had insisted that she was going to fire her beta altogether, and simply post more "pure" versions of her stories, like "_dragons_" had supposedly been pure.

Aka, with bad grammar and even worse writing.

Only threats at knifepoint had kept Flarismyman from resorting to such abominable acts. Okay, so maybe not quite knifepoint. It was something _else_… Something… _worse_. The worst nightmare for a bad-grammar-ed story.

The threat of being reported.

Hmm… That wasn't quite right, actually.

Most fantwits – pardon, fanfiction authors – didn't even know the _report_ button existed. You know, the one down at the bottom? Where it says "submit review"? You can click on the arrow and select "report possible abuse".

Pamela was very intimate with this button.

Marjory, of course, hadn't known there was such a thing, and had panicked at the thought. Thus, chapter three was not going to go out raw with brain-shredding grammar (or lack thereof). It would not, however, be good.

Good! Ha! What a joke. "Marjory," "story," and "good" didn't belong in the same sentence without the word "NOT!"

**

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**Karen was revived by a slap around the face and a coffee mug shoved into her hands. She obediently drank up, thanking her roommate, who shook her head desparingly. 

"Don'tchu have, like, _homework_?" demanded Sierra. _She _did.

"Mbe," slurred Karen. Translation: Maybe. Truth: Oh, yes.

_Must… go… computer… read…_

**

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**Marjory triumphantly clicked the _"add"_ button. There! "The Most Beautiful of Them All" was updated! Three chapters, baby! She was so proud of herself. The chapter was _perfect_.**

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****Yo, yo, yo, my homedoggz! Say hi, Ralphie! (-Ralphie buzzes-) Here you go!**

**AnYwAyZ, here's chappie three for y'all!**

_KkKkKkKkKkKkKkKKkKkKkKkKkKkKkKKkKkKkKkKkKkKkK_

Alai and Sledaifalefefth make their way to the buckets of meat, and all eyes are glued to them in their perfect beauty. Never has there been such a beautiful shade of gold on a dragon, never such a gorgeous queenrider. You practically have to shield your eyes to protect them from the radiant beauty. RADIANT, I'm telling you!

_Why do the people stare, O Alai?_ asks Sledaifalefefth. One might assume that the dragon would call her rider by her full name, but the author can't be bothered to go back and look up Alai's name. It was really long, anyway, wasn't it?

Sooo… Next there's supposed to be some junk about Weyrling Classes… Blah blah. No one really likes reading that stuff, anyway. Who cares?

_TIME SKIP! WOOT WOOT! WE'RE JUMPING FORWARD IN TIME! WHEEE!_

Aiight.

So, Sledaifalefefth is now four Turns old and she and Alai are still beautiful and perfect and all the bronzeriders are falling over themselves so that they can impress them. The brownriders are starting a campaign to make brown-flying-gold flights common again. Blueriders are even contemplating letting their own dragons try in Sledaifalefefth's first mating flight. And some greenriders are considering becoming straight 'cos Alai is so amazing.

So one day Sledaifalefefth (_A/N: its sooo hard to type sledaifalefefth's name! I'm gong 2 call her Sleddy frm now on, mkay? On wit da stry!_) is looking really gold. She whips her tail around, yawning her mouth really really wide. She's feeling _sexy_.

_Oh, Alai,_ she says coyly. _I feel sexy._

_Oh, my,_ Alai says, her eyes fluttering and a hand coming to rest delicately on her collarbone. _You must be ready to mate, My Heart!_

With that, they whisk away to the, um, place where the dragons eat. You know, the thingy with all the cows. Oh, well. That's not important.

So all the bronzeriders (and brownriders and blueriders and greenriders) are there, because they all desperately want to at least watch the beautiful motion of Sleddy and Alai. (_A/N: sleddy sounds sooooooo kyoot!_)

So a lot of dramatic stuff happens, and then Sleddy is flying. She soars and flaps and twists and sings and stuff, you know, dramatically and things like that.

Suddenly, she felt another dragon body press against hers…

LjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLjLj

**Ooh! Cliffie! Srry it's so short! But me and Ralphie are busy peoples (and machines). Plz review!!!!!**

**

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**Hardly able to contain her excitement, Marjory signed in on the fanfiction website, grinning at her name: . She quickly clicked on . How many hits had chapter two of "The Most Beautiful of Them All" got? How many… reviews? 

Ah… none.

_What? It's been a whole ten minutes since I posted it! _Marjory cried in her mind, outraged. _What's taking those idiots so long? Grr…I need chocolate therapy_.

**

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**Chocolate therapy lasted about four hours, so by the time Marjory got back to the computer (considerably paled and shaking from compu-withdrawl)… she had no new reviews. 

_Hm… hot-soaky-bath-with-a-book-and-some-more-chocolate therapy time!_

**

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**Well, that therapy lasted long enough for Marjory to come to her computer with serious wrinkles from the water and gray bags under her eyes and minor vomiting from compu-withdrawl. With trembling fingers, she clicked on again…

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**Heh heh… Sorry again about the late update. It wasn't even that funny… But life has been hectic and I'm not in the funniest mood. Still, thanks for reading, and please review "The Most Beautiful of Them All" to make Marjory stop getting fat off of all that chocolate.**


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